How I Changed the Narrative on Co-Parenting
My Story
I was sitting in church one Sunday, Pre-COVID, with tears streaming down my face. The chair swere packed, but nobody offered me a tissue, and nobody asked if I was ok. On the screen a father swung his little boy around like Superman, while Chainsmoker’s “Something Just LIke This” played through the speakers. I remember thinking about my husband who was at home, instead of in the seat next to me. My parents over 1000 miles away. The people hanging out together after service that i would walk by with envy. Just like you, I understand the feeling of being lonely in a crowded room. I know what it’s like to live in a family that people assume is great from the outside, but inside you feel isolated, divided and alone.
Without a strong sense of community or resources, I was not doing a great job of parenting my children or taking care of myself. I was surviving, but isolated and lonely, numbing out on Netflix and chocolate, while oblivious to the destruction occurring under my own roof.
Fast forward a few years and hard lessons. One week after my divorce was finalized, my ex and I packed the kids in his car and took them on a “family” vacation to Mexico.
Now, before you write me off as someone who lucked out, who doesn’t really know what it’s like to have it bad, let me tell you it was not luck. It wasn’t because my life was actually cake.
There is no way that vacation would have happened without strong boundaries on my part. There is also no way it would have happened without months of my conscious, daily decisions to act in the best interest of my children. Finally, there is no way that vacation would have happened if I had not had a supportive community around me. Since that day in church, I have gone from being isolated, to seen; from divided, to living in the sweet spot, where my kids and I function as a team, but most of all, I went from a Solo Mom to a Warrior Mom, with an army behind me.
It took a lot of hard work and hard choices. Sick of hearing people talk about doing life together, I decided to figure out how to actually BE in community. Instead of wasting valuable time and money in the court system, I chose to focus on healing and empowering myself and my children to navigate the inevitable reality of co-parenting with a destructive individual.
HI, I'M JESS!
During my journey to freedom, I gained certifications in Trauma Support, Mental Health Coaching, NLP, and Tru 316 Bible Study resources. I have been building communities for over 20 years, in English and Spanish, across all of North America. I combine this experience with my expertise in coaching and facilitating to give you strategies and techniques to help you on your own post-traumatic parenting journey.
Now, my world runs on coffee, Jesus & spicy chocolate. It’s made entertaining by sarcastic banter. I believe faith begins where religion ends, being a business owner makes me a better mom, and being a mom makes me a better business owner. I also think pranks, shenanigans, and epic surprises make the best hobbies, and it is my mission to see Disney Dads abolished, because Fun Moms have taken over the world!
I know the pain of living in a destructive marriage, and the agony of trying to navigate co-parenting after leaving my marriage. I also know first hand, how hard it is to face the excruciating reality of that same sort of destruction in your family of origin. But I am here to tell you there is hope!
I don’t want to just give you platitudes about setting boundaries and getting involved in a small group; I want to give you actionable step-by-step instructions for how to show up authentically, build your village, and empower your children to navigate the difficulty they still face with their destructive family member.